Shhh...

I am so tired to talk v my parents nowadays.... Since the day i start my work in the HohShoes
I keep thinking whether i hv da rite placements or not... i really dunno

Da fucking is damn isolated... everytime when i wan to go for work or come bek from work i feel like crying... i feel myself so sad n helpless

Evey morning i need to take cab to my office and it cost me RM12 for a journey and if i cant get cab i will kena potong by the stupid cab in front of my condo and it will charge me fro RM20... WTF rite!!!!
n when it is time to go bek... i am start struggling to think whether it is a cab for me as there is too rural to get a cab as it is a housing area and no cab will enter unless CALL.... well CALL doesnt mean tat it will be a cab for u... so when come to no cab.... i really goin to cry coz i need to walk till da kelana jaya station for 25 mins to get a stupid cab... and now it cost me another RM12++ ( it is a pick time as everyone is goin home).... somemore there is damn isolated... there has lots of squarter which is aiming ur purse and snatch wateva they can... FUCK !!! this is da info i get from my senior

My dad ask me to ask them whether can get a car pool.... PLS !!! EVENT no such thing... they will go home at 8 or even start another meeting somewher till da late midnite.... how am i goin to follow them???

All the money i add up is mthly payment for a car? y don u jz gv me a car for convinnience and it will be ok to drive( no practice no improvement).... My mom is the one alwaz ruins everything ... i understand tat my dad is planning how to solve my probs and there is a possibility he will get me a car... but now comes to my mum... she alwaz ruin da plan.... ALWAZ... n when she talk to me i jz feel like ignore her.... sry to say tat but i really feel hatred sometimes

Is there a CARE when i get rape or i hv died coz of a car accident and u will noe wat is SAVE wat is NO!!!!! PLS lah is too late to be CARE!!! i hv my back hurt... it was so painful but i nvr tell them a single thing it will not works... they will jz ask me to apply some chinese medicine... so watsoeva no need to tell n i will take care myself....

My sis cal me today n i tell her tat i slip and hurt my backbone and goin for sinsei as my bek start to pain till my back bone nerve is suffer when i am sleeping... Now my mom cal me n ask how am i ... I really feel to tell i am not goin to die is ok .... but i nvr i still respect in answering her OKAY!!! and wateva she say to me i can only ans EMmmmm..... tats it feel so fake to talk to her sometimes

I feel myself kurang ajar but HOW!!!! sometimes i really feel sad when they are not in my situation but they make da decision for u..... when come da main idea n they refuse to gv u a good solution but jz ignore it.... n start to think of their own solution again which will not hv an ANSWER till da day end!!!!! WAT DA FUCK

OKAY !!!! till here... i think this is da damn angry blog i have ever write!!! maybe u al will think tat i am not appreciative or i am too demanding.... but come n see da place i train is totally disaster and i SCARE!!! now i will try to get another palcement

Thanx Gelina so much she keep trying to help me up in finding a better place for me.... no worries i wil think of it and gv an ideal ans to u ya.... Thanx again

I am using pink in my words coz i hate pink

21st PhOtos

the celebrator for my 21st
(part of it nia)
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Another bunch of celebrator
(happy happy happy)
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Photo cacated v Tourism student n Jas
( Normal lah... we like to be cacat... wahaha)
NOe Y??? TOO PRETTY LIAO
ngek ngek ngek
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"WANTED"
HUI LING
** i oso dunno wat happen to her**
hehe but is interesting this photo
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Tercapture after my shower
(sexy tummy... wahaha)
ACTUALLY DAMN GELI
when u goin to leave me!!!!!
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I think they are sending gift for me
WAHAHA

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Another group photo again but still miss out someone
but is ok i think u all noe who are they
WAHAHA
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.doooooo....
UNWANTED GANG!!!!
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12 dingding...
My 21st bday cake, me and bunch of celebrator
THANX SO MUCH


21 st a unforgettable Bday v all the frens
Thanx again
LOVE
nic

21st...

23rd Nov... Unforgettable day

morning went to Maya hotel for interview... but FAIL again... during the way home i was cryin coz i feel tat i am damn unlucky to get a intern....

come to kl sentral... sitting alone in da McD... havin filet-O(been long time nvr eat since i come to kl) and nuggets... tot of eatin can release my unhappiness but NOPE... i was strugglin for 1 n half hour to finish my makanan... during my makan... i cal julee n talk to her my situation and i cried again...

come bek around 5 sth... chit chat v my bro... he keep telling me not be too demanding as i asking my dad to get me a car as if i work in event management i need it... my bro is harsh n i noe feeling good and sad tat sometimes feel tat my family cant understand wat am i thinking and they like only thinking their own way ( not da car thingy but others)... i cried again

WAT a Damn 21st rite... I cried 3 times in my bday.... is quite a sad day for me.... i was not in a good mood for da whole day... but at da nite i still havin a party in poppy... was up side down my feeling

Nite

Thanx so much to all my frens tat celebrate v me

I hv held my party in poppy... the hot and pack club... so Nadia has keep rushing me for reservation.... so i hv make it 10 days in advance... hehe

It was fun and enjoyable day for me.... but still feel sad tat some of my fren cannot attend da party... but most of them has attend... it was touch and happy

it was so lucky tat da nite is not pack n our ppl has concur da whole club... tat was great... me and Nadia as usual stand up da speaker and dance... but da damn bouncer jz halau us down and tell us tat it is not allow to stand on da speaker.... duhhh, havin fun mah like tat oso cannot...boooo

i suppose to drunk but i didnt... coz i oso dunno y... but i still in HIGH mode wahaha
dance for da whole nite... entertaining my frens for dancing... chating and all sort of thingy lah...Hosting no choice.... wahaha (so mean)

but at the end of da party.... they are two of my fren drunk.... one of then is my best fren julee
wahaha.... ju u need to practice lo... wahaha

around 3 sth... the day has end we hv follow cars n meet each other in Horus... da mamak... makan, chit chat and play aroud... it was crazy....

after the supper.... me, jasmine and brian sitted on the beanch near da swimming pool... coz really not feel like goin home and i missing someone oso... so i tell the two of them bout my feeling... n jas has send him a msg tat i wan to drink with him ask him whether wan to join or not... i was thinking she will not dare to do this kind of thing... but i am wrong.... she dare n she send and he patah balik coz he has on his way bek to his hs liao....

when i was so happen keep talking v other fren who last joining us happily.... when da time i raise my head up i see him.... n da two of them ask so u still wan to drink and ask the other fren of my as well.... but he refuse to drink as he need to work da next day... so in my mind tat time is" RUN" so i jz follow my fren go home lah.... i am so scare and i think is not da rite timing... jas has cal me and my half way bek n scold me no guts.... but jas i dunno y i am scare n not yet prepare... i was regret coz it is really a damn good moment to express but i nvr... maybe is not da rite guy... even i still got strong feeling but ... haiz " i am sampat"

SO my nite is jz PEACE n have nth BOOM or FANTASTIC happen

but anyhow it was a great day.... n unforgetful day

at last... need to thanx wei lynn for loosing her clubbing vaginity to me and keong my best pals thanx for helping in arranging and collecting da money..... thanx to my this two fren.... we are UNWANTED GANG FOREVER!!!! love y'all

HAPPY 21st BDAY TO MYSELF

My 21St Party

Been long time nvr blog... Firstly, i wanna thanx GOD for the wonderful arrangement...
The 22nd of Nov 2006, is my last semester 2 paper and the really last college exam paper.... and for the excuse of my 21st...i hv held a small gathering party in my place...

After the examination, it was around 3 sth... me, weilynn and jasmine went to pyramid to shop for the party stuff... walking around and around.... finish shopping and my stuff has finis buyin... so we have to go home and prepare for the party....

As my house does not have a proper stove to cook... me n weilynn has leave and went to jasmine house for cooking... during the preparation... i am so stress that so scare i cant handle da whole party... but luckily thanx so much tat wei lynn and jasmine is there... they help me up alot...
Me take care of the sphagetti, jasmine take care of the sandwiches and weilynn take care of the frying stuff... LYnn Lynn... u are a good cook ya.... wahaha

Time pass fast.... 8.30 pm is nearer but my house only got 4 guest which is hui ling, gelina, yanz and eliza which i have invite around 20+ ppl... i am so worried whether they are still coming or not!!! while i went down to buy ices... and the moment i reach home... keong and dennis was here... slowly my guest has jz follow da flow and reach my place... i am so proud of it coz i am the first time hosting party man... thanx fren for the support ya!!!!

My menu

1) Sphagetti with hot tuna
2) Pop-corn ( Chicken)
3) Nuggets
4) French Fries
5) Sandwiches
6) Pudding ( Thanx to Ivy for helping me with this dessert ya)
7) Nana De Coco and Longan ( End up we mix ivy's pudding with it, thats chun)
8) Dominoes ( aloha chicken and pepporoni beef)
9) My 21st Bday cake from frens

During the bday party, we are talkin n laughin... and i feel so happy when i see da situation as all my frens are mingle around and they take my place as their own home... the feeling was like " We Are Family"... Thanx so much my fren for attending my 21st

Today nite itself have one more party on in poppy which i hv invite more ppl than today as it is a farewell party... i hv held over my place is also bcoz some of my fren avoiding and strictly prohibited from clubbing... so sad.... but luckily da party is on in my place and we are havin fun n joy....

Okay... let say how they wish me happy bday lah
I was inside the kitchen cutting da pudding for my dessert... when the time i open my fridge the cake is still in the fridge.... while i am into my work tat time... i dunno who has take da cake without lettine me noe.... n keong come n ask me out... but when tat time i was thinking oh wanna take cake izzit, i noe in the fridge lah... so i go out... manatau da bday cake is ready there and they are singing happy bday song to me.... it was so touch and warm when they are givin me wishes...

WAH.... I AM 21st YA....I AM A BIG GAL.... BUT NOT OLD ... OKAY!!!! hehehe

I have a fun n joyfull bday party... thanx again my fren and this is our last day for college life....

LOVE U ALL.... AND MISS Y'ALL... TAKE GOOD CARE!!!

Well tmr still got party on... Hope it is fun and crazy nite...

FALL

ytrd the 12th Nov was Brian's bday, so happen he has invite us for KFC and LUK LUK for his celebration...
After the celebration, we have went to the nearest pub... FLAME
It was fine the earlier nite... and the big screen is showing the most famous 2 teams football game...' liverpool VS arsenal'... our gang there is playin 'bing bong a' and everyone is HIGH... i found myself is quite a slow motion person... coz when everytime they point at me n shouted 'bong' i will jz loose my mind and shouted 'a'.... so obviously i need to drink da Black Label tat place there...
Reaching 1130... some of my frenn has surrender and jz rest on the sofa and some went to da toilet to clear da stomach of liquor... me as well....

time pass fast 12am come.... music on.... dance move.... is my nite....
i am so HIGH... feel like standing on the podium... so a coincident... da podium is jz bek of the sofa we sitted and da screen is jz behind the podium....
as usual i has stand up to da podium and dance happily.... when lights blinking in da pub.... and some of the footbal fans shouted for goals.... me... trip n fal straight to the bar's table... n hallelujah ... dennis has safe mylife.... n keong safe the bar's table... n me myself has noe nth.... but the only thing in my mind is.... I AM FUCKING EMBARRASING... shit ass....n now... my knee is hurt and have a damn big bruises... it is painful when i walk on the stairs...sigh

OMG... think of it i feel so miserable.... i fall twice this yr since my clubbin life have started on the early 2004... and i cant imagine tat i fall.... and brian tell me" wah, clubber fall down, cant imagine".... oh i am so so so damn shamed.... I wish i wont fall again...ecspecially on my nite.... LOOK FORWARD FOR IT... and hope tat all my fren will attend...

BLESS ME!!!!

Moody day

Been few days i am so so so moody... I think is bcoz PMS and i feel tat everything tat happen beside me or on me which will easily make me feel frastrated and angry... I am sry fren tat i nvr mean it... is really my mood totally go down...

But sometimes i think bek... y i willl be like tat? i am so dissapointed coz when i really care bout someone... but they will jz leave me alone... it is a hard feeling to me... and i think i hv no high EQ

I told Nadia B4 tat i am so angry with someone coz she nvr ever think of me sometimes when i am really alone or i needed help... but she tell me... maybe i am an independent person so ppl out there will feel tat i can still survive when i am alone... YES i understand i will still survive but still i am so sad... i need attention sometimes but there is no attention on me... i only can make myself happy lah.. wat to do!!! ppl will think tat i got lots of fren... but NO!!! truly tell u...

I and hui ling no more close like last time... sometime i wonder!! frenship is jz like tat? when be with u longer time only can talk to u???when seldom see each other no more conversation??? when u with others u jz left me out!!! i am really fras... really... but i cant tell anyone... coz they will not stand by my side and jz tell me... aiya... now she no more same class v u mah, sure seldom talk lo.... but y? frenship really jz like tat? I am really tired of this kind of relationship i really feel inbalance and i pity myself sometimes... i really feel it... is kind of hard feeling...

I am listening to ' Tonight i Wanna Cry ' by Keith Urban... it is meanigful and my feeling now is totally exactly same as the lyrics but not bcoz of realationship v lover but frens.... when i listen to it i feel emo... haiz...

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

oOOo

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Neway lifes still go on... sry for grumbling here bout my fren... it maybe coz of my atttitude and oso i cant control myself so my fren will leave me in short time sry for showing my fras here... but i feel tat only this blog is my best fren to talkbout anything tat is inbalance on me.... GOD N BLOG ALWAZ MY BEST FREN.... THANX FOR ACCOMPANY ME!!!

BACK

Yesterday the 1st of November... Keong invite me and my classmate for his bday party in V Garden Klang... There are 10 cars depart from Ridzuan... It is damn big event man...

Around 7.30pm we have reach klang... the first we see was " JUST MARRIED" so we start teasing him tat this is really his engagement or wedding party... wahaha so funny lah...

We have been teasing him since the day he invite us... coz it held in a restaurant and there are 5 tables for Taylor's student and other around 20 tables i think for his relatives and secondary classmate... it is a really huge Bday party

In the restaurant
We sing Happy Bday song to him... and toasting 'YAM SING" (it sound like wedding rite!!! hehe)
When he giving speech tat time... we all notice tat he was goin to cry coz his eyes is full of tears... Keong don lah so touch ya.... wahaha
But seriously... the food is good ya and we drink like HEAVEN wahaha...

His father and uncle were so funny keep asking us to drink and check on us whether we are drinking during the 'YAM SING' section on the stage...

KEONG U ASK UR RELATIVES TO BULLY US IZZIT??? COZ WE ALWAZ BULLY U IN THE CLASS... WAHAHA( joking nia )

We have end the party around 10 sth n we go bek one after another ... me and Jasmine has went to Gelina's for gals' nite... it was crazy and fun... till now they still wonder tat whether i am a virgin or not... OMG am i look so NOT INNOCENT??? but i am fine ya coz i hv da temptation to do it wahaha.... till 3 sth we finally use off our energy and have a good nite sleep..

---HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY KEONG---

This morning i went for a career fair in college... i was thinking i hv hope to get in LeMeridien for my internship but i hv get no chance as they are not goin to hired a trainee but a permanent staff and the sad case is tat they has jz only hired a new event co-cordinator... so bad luck ya.... hope i really can get a placement soon... i really scare tat i cant graduate coz of this stupid internship... Oh my lovely Lord.. pls gv me a helping hand... THANX LORD

I am finally bek to my lovely hometown since after my France trip... i really miss my home and the food in Malacca but sadly i need to go bek to KL on saturday.... so i cant fully satisfied my gastronomic temp ya... is ok coz i will be bek the following week which is my study week and come bek and eat ' KAU KAU' ... but still i hv eaten the most famous " WAN TAN MEE" today, it is heaven man.... feel like eating somemore

Now i nak pergi tengok TV lah... I miss my Astro too... CIAO!!!

Baskin Robins

Today was seeking for someone to accompany me for this special moment dessert.... BASKINS ROBINS/// hehe 31st meh!!!

Finally i find my beloved fren Julee and Fanny... 3 of us has meet up in Pyramid around 8.30pm

We are so blur lah.... we shud order da take awaay one then only can get 31% discount....but we order each of us one 2 scoope cone and it cost us RM15.52.... and we hv get no discount.... WTH.... our main purpose has fly away coz of our BLURRRR.... heheh

PAISEI LAH KAWAN... i nvr think of tat, is ok ya we learn from lesson ya... next time we will hv another round of ice cream.... wahhaha

I hv order my favourite ... mint chocolate and chocolate mousse
Julee... rum raisins and low fat sth ( forgot liao)
Fanny.... cheese strawberry and chocolate mint

We enjoy our ice- cream.... chatting as usual like aunty.... da embarrasing thing is we hv mess up the table... coz da stupid cone keep leaking lah... is not our fault oso... hehe

After the ice cream gathering... we hv decided to go yam cha and we hv end up at Kim Gary...
I hv order coke v boilded ginger which to cure my shore throat
Julee... Ying Yong
Fanny.... Nai cha

Talking things tat happen in France... ecspecially the sad part which me n Fanny not really wanted to mention about anymore... but we are da best pal and we share everything together of course must tell Ju lah... hehe ( she said she need to be prepared for her trip )

Come to this topic about a guy which i has scold him b4... i hv ad forgot this thingy but sdnly Fanny has mention tat he still hate me and don wan to talk bout me...

I hv apologize to him bout y i scold him and tell him tat reason which i am so upset and i scolded him bad words... BUT in my thinking... guys are easy to adapt to bad words and i hv say SRY to him and he himself has tell me tat is ok....

but today i find out tat he still angry with me.... and i can tell myself tat...

I DON LIKE THIS GUY, HE IS NOT A REAL GUY.... I HATE A LADY HEART GUY, WAT SO EVER... IF U STILL HATE ME OR WAT.... I WANTED TO TELL U, U ARE A SUCKER OSO.... SO GO ASIDE N I DUNNO U